It happens all the time, especially for multi-taskers, caretakers, Smart Moms, conventional, investigative, and artistic Holland code types. The steps needed to accomplish your goal can get overwhelming and immobilize you completely. You are challenged on what to do first, or next. I have been stuck thousands of times and have learned a few jumpstarts that can effectively get the ball rolling and send you on your way to reaching your goal once again.
- What is the job goal again? Why do I want to achieve this goal? Remind yourself what it is that you are working towards. For instance, the goal may be to get a job following being at home for 15 years raising kids. Yes, I have had some p/t jobs and volunteer jobs, but now I am ready to go back to work in an area that I am excited about. Real paid work. I need a paycheck, more or less feedback on my contribution, or maybe I need to work in a team where everyone has a part and there are repercussions if a part is not done. The ultimate question being ‘Why do I want to go back to work’?
- It can help me to grow my retirement funds.
- Maybe my marriage is not stable and I need a backup plan.
- Perhaps, I want to feel accomplished and contribute to something outside of my home and receive the verbal and monetary accolades from this job.
- Whatever it is, name it!
It is your reason for pursuing this goal. Write it somewhere, where it can be seen by you regularly. Allow it to be imprinted in your mind.
- Stop the Ruminating. The self-talk in a Smart Mom’s mind is ongoing. We are tossing around solutions to certain issues with our children, how to carve out time with our significant other, important family member issues, how to exercise or provide self-care for ourselves. We have to coordinate the many doctor, school, household and self-improvement activities for our families and extended family. It is rewarding work but ongoing and does not leave much time for US. How do we stop ruminating and over thinking our decisions? How do we see the big picture (landing or create a job that meets our goals)?
- Identify the fear - For me the fear has always been that I will not be able to serve my family as I have in the past. For example, because I go to work, my children will not make it to college or they will get caught up in drugs or some crazy boy while I am pursuing my career. I’m afraid of not being available to guide my children. What is your greatest fear if you pursue the job you are excited about? Name it.
- Remind yourself that the chances of that fear happening are extremely low... list why your fears are improbable. You have been committed to this family for an indefinite time and caring for them is part of your backbone. You could not turn your back on them without completely abandoning a critical part of yourself. In other words, it is a false fear. Say it over and over when that fear pops up in your mind. It is a falsehood. Of course things can go wrong, but your greatest fear isn't worth stressing over. It is unrealistic and is holding you back from reaching your goal.
So here is your To Do List:
- Make sure your goal is clearly defined:
2. Place your Smart Goal in a well accessed place (Bathroom mirror, car dashboard, taped to your desk). Refer to it often.
3. When you encounter immobility, refocus on the goal and YOUR why.
4. Be mindful of the rumination. Different thoughts will come up at different times. Remember to name it and speak to why it will probably not happen. Refocus.By following these steps you will reach your goal. Anticipate getting stuck from time to time but have a plan! Let’s get started.